"A tiny little schoolboy with the name of Trachtenbauer was at my
door when I opened it. / I say tiny little and that's literally what I
mean. He was about eight inches tall, the size of a sizeable penis, the
average height of a cat, which meant that when the doorbell rang while I
was pouring my cornflakes into the bowl and I went through to the hall
thinking it would be the postman and opened the door and looked out, it
was as if there was no one there at all, and it was only as I was about
to close it that I heard the squeaking of a small voice at shin level."
Ali Smith, "Trachtenbauer."
